Friday, December 31, 2004
Right now, in 3D max class. Although I am listening to my lecturer but I dont really have a clue on what is really happening. Sheesh! Anyway, gonna meet my darling cousin for lunch later. Suppose he wants to tell me some sad stuff about his ex-girlfriend. Poor boy. Met an old friend at the cafeteria just now, asked how he was and he said "Bad....", asked him why and he explained that he is no longer together with his girlfriend. Two years of lovey dovey relationship has ended. Reason? I also dont really know why. Well, I guess not everything has a happy ending.
Anyway, it's New Year's Eve today. I dont really care about New Year's Eve but my friends asked me out so I just said "okie". I have nothing planned on anyway. Going to a barbeque with my friend and her ex-boyfriend's friends. Having my monthly cramps....wish I could take out my womb or something....hehz just kidding.
Quote of the moment
"smile. it can save someone's day."
i blogged @
11:38 AM
SCORPIO WOMAN (24 Oct - 22 Nov)
A simple woman who always show what kind of a moods she is in. You can tell right way if she up set, or if she is flirting with you. She displays herself with her act much more than trying to say it for it's in her character.
A Scorpio woman has her own mysterious personality. She is confident and deep down inside she is quite proud of herself. She hates to think she is borne a woman and so limiting her with a certain social acceptable rules. She is a real woman and despite her innocent and childish looks, she has a spirit of free soul. Many men will make mistake if they think she is a good follower, they are wrong.
She thinks being a plain simple housewife is boring. She likes to have power and control over other people, but this will be only her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. Every things she does will look good, and she has all the woman's trick you can think of. She can manipulate men without they knowing it.
If you think she going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed. She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking in your eyes. You may say sweet words which could sweep any woman, but not with the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes reading your thought of what you just said or what you are going to say. She always smile and she can really hide her feeling.
She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will even love you more. If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feed back when you around her. She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confident. She likes to have a good looking , strong and healthy man especially if she start to compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he hold a degree or a good career.
She is a hot lady. She likes heavy music. She either loves or hates, there are no "fond of", or "like" for her. Love has no "may be", or "perhaps". If she is real mad, she will trash and throw things. Her wind storm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grand mother favorite china for she has good quality as much as her bad tempered.
Sometimes she shows her weakness, but it won't be long. She will put herself together and back to be that hot chili again. If she loves you, it will be no matter what other people may say. Her relationship will be more important than what is right or wrong. Because of this reason, you may know some Scorpio woman become a second wife, a mistress.
She is spoil, but she allows her love one to over power her. Dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house. It could be a love letter 2 years ago, but never mind she will argue about this since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember she has a temper of the shrew.
If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it. If you stood her up once, she will stood you up 2-3 times. She is quite fair in justice, so she can accept your apologies as much as she can pretend to accept things for now and wait for a pay back revenge in the future. If you are nice to hear, she will double that to you as well. A real fair woman.
She likes to make and spent money. She likes to have fame and reputations, and never let herself broke and have no name at the same time. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She loves to have face, so if you are a manager with small salary, she will be proud more than more money being a truck driver. She hates to think and she can not stand a feeling of being a "Nobody".
If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. When you go out on a date, set your schedule, but do not let she knows that you have planned this for weeks. Always go to pick her up on time or better to go 5-10 minutes early.
Interesting isn't it? Well, I can relate to most of it. I would say it got almost 80% right with me.
i blogged @
1:23 AM
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
It's 11.47 pm and I feel funny. A funny feeling in my stomach.Get rid of it.
i blogged @
11:47 PM
These few days I have been rather sleepy and tired....must be the late night chats with my friends. Noticed recently been having a few munches on my comfort food - chocolate....yikes! Feeling guilty! I'm already like a cow and yet I am still snacking sometimes. Oh gawd....I need something to occupy my mind with. I dont usually snack alot but these few days have been doing so....sheesh. Anyway, I better stop all this unhealthy habits!
I managed to finish my 3D Toy Train today. It was rather alright cause we had step by step instructions....not much of a challenge I know. Anyway, today I was thinking about stuff and I felt something lacking in my life. Not sure what is it though. Could it be my lack of a social life with my close friends? Or could it be something else? One of my friend called my few nights ago. He called me saying how bored he was in camp and whether I remembered about our "promise". Well, it is a silly promise but when I was working at the pub with him, we promised each other that if we were still single when we reach the age of about 25 years, we would get married to each other. Hahaa....come back to think of it, it's really funny but a sweet thing I guess. Then he started saying how he used to like me and I did not take him seriously....stuff like that. Then he asked me whether I had any feelings for him before, I just kept quiet and said we are friends. I dont like being in this sort of situation....like being asked about my feelings etc....cause usually I would just say "I dont know" or just stay quiet like a cukoohead. I find men confusing. Sometimes I wish they could just get straight to the point or just be honest. One of my close guyfriend told me that guys will lie to you if they know the truth will hurt you. Maybe because of what he said I find it hard to believe guys even if they say that they are telling the truth. Or maybe I'm just buyers. You can think anything you want to. We talked alot that day. He also told me that some guys find me intimidating. I feel kinda funny but a little weird too. I mean honestly what is so intimidating about me? People also said that I have a bitchy face and attitude if I dont smile. I mean come on' what do you want me to do? Have a freaking smile on my face 24/7? Hahaaa but then again, they can think whatever they want as long as my friends and I know who I am. Other than that I dont really give a shit....or do I? Actually who am I kidding, I always say that I dont care but deep down I actually do care. When I hear something bad about myself I would think about it and try to change for the better that is.....?! Sometimes I feel I dont know who I am. One minute I'm feeling this way and another minute I feel another way. Guess I need to do some meditation....hehz....find out who I really am.
aBouT sCoRpIo
Scorpio is symbolized by the Scorpion. Intense and emotionally perceptive, you pick up on unspoken words and speak the language of gesture. Deep, mysterious and magnetically attractive, you yearn for emotional intimacy. If hurt, you really sting -- and you don't forgive easily!
True? Only you can judge for yourself.
i blogged @
10:22 PM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I learn new things about myself everyday. Unravell new mysteries about myself. A Scorpio I am. Truely said. Today was a quiet day for me perhaps? Went to MPH to see some astrology books. The stuff I read was really quite accurate. About me a Scorpio that is. Been interested in all these Metaphysical Studies since I was about 14 yrs old....
Hmm....Found it strange when I received a sms from "Peanut". He asked me whether I was alright today as I seem rather lonely. Well sometimes I do feel lonely. Really lonely. But then again who dosent feel that way right? I have a handful of close friends whom I know will definately will be there for me in a blink of an eye. My emotions tested them just a few days ago when I was in one of my low points. I cried on Christmas Eve....pathetic I know. But they comforted me and really showed what I wanted to receive....Love and Warmth. I find myself being more independent as I journey through my life. It is great to have someone by your side but in reality you cannot have that. People always say that my mind is constantly filled with thoughts. I am not so sure about that but which person isnt thinking all the time? Even when you think that your mind is blank, subconsciously your mind is sure to be thinking of something.
subconscious - the part of your mind that has thoughts and feelings you do not know about; UNCONSCIOUS
Anyway, sometimes I feel a little irritated when a someone keeps on saying the same things to me. I know sometimes they mean well and they dont know that I dont really like it....but sometimes it comes to a point when the way they say it sounds a little sacarstic. Well maybe its me being too sensitive. I am known to be a sensitive person. Some of my friends think they know me, but sometimes I feel not many people really know me well. I mean besides from my close friends. Sometimes I feel like I am a romance poet in a nutshell. Yet sometimes I can feel like a crazed retard who dreams in a nuthshell. I have no idea what I mean but nevermind.
Dreamer unravelled
as in darkness,
like light.
as in rain,
like dirt.
as in corners,
like cats.
as in spiders,
like webs.
what is that dances in between the lights?
what is it that scrambles at night?
what is it she weaves,
the unraveller of night and dreams?
what does she see?
as in notebooks,
like words.
as in beads,
like yarn.
as in corners,
like cats.
as in spiders,
like webs.
patterns like night
frayed dreams
what do you see?
what do you see?
what do you see,
in mine?
what does she see?
- Poem by Syed Sana Rahman
I really like this poem alot. It is also being made into a song sung by Vanessa Fernandez. It's pure beauty. Well I'm feeling a little spiritual now....hehz....maybe I shall go and get in touch with my intuitive side.
i blogged @
9:21 PM
Monday, December 27, 2004
Emy just called....wow it's been a real long time since I've seen her. She's one of my close friend whom I can get along well with. She is currently working at somewhere in east coast (some cafe). She used to work at Clarke Quay "One Night Stand". She quit that job though cause of all the politics and stuff. Sigh....politics schomolitics! I used to work at "Molly Malones" at Boat Quay. It is a nice place to work at. However, mum asked me to stop working till I'm free enough to work and my school work is not disrupted etc....anyway, Emy and I have it made a point to meet up at least once a month since now she has every Monday and Thursday off. Same as me! I have no school on every Monday and Thursday.
Anyway, yesterday and today my grand aunt came over. I love my grand aunt. Her name is Christine but we call her Aunty Kitty. Kitty is her nickname since god knows when! Anyway, I was really annoyed at my dad yesterday. Aunty Kitty always comes to visit every weekend. She used to stay with us but now she stays in home for the aged....something like that. It is not that bad as it sounds. Anyway, when she comes over, she always sits down on the place where my dad usually sits. Thats when I got annoyed with HIM. When Aunty Kitty said it was time to go home, she got up and said bye to us. And HE said something like "finally can sit down. waiting for her to go....". I never really dared to talk back to my dad in my whole 19 yrs of life. Only dared to have a small argue. I just told him like "why is he saying this....Aunty Kitty didnt do anything wrong" and I told him if next time he wants to sit down on the couch just let me know and I would give up my seat for him. I mean goodness....is it that hard not sit on the couch for a while?! I dont know whether you understand but it's not the first time. When Aunty Kitty says "Bye" to HIM. HE justs says bye without even looking up at my aunt! It may sound like a small thing but it's little things he does which sometimes really irks me so much. Sometimes I just wish that he would just do nothing or be invisible. When HE is not around, the family is much more peaceful. Honestly. BUT of course, I am
THANKFUL and
GRATEFUL for a dad. I dont want anyone to get me wrong. Just that sometimes I have to express how I feel or maybe I am just a complain queen....? Well, whatever the case is, like people say "he IS your dad after all".
Sigh, Christmas is almost over. They said 12 days of Christmas huh....feels too fast. But then again, feels no different. I feel really bad. Serious. Never attended mass. Tell me I'm not bad. Sometimes I feel so guilty. I dont know why?
i blogged @
9:15 PM
